Monday, September 6, 2010

The Curse of the Kitchen Sponge...coming to a cinema near you



Is it just my BS detector or is there an increase of ads on the television telling me that my house is full of germs? Florescent blue and yellow graphics of prickly slugs grouped together with a woman and a sponge "eeuuwww!!". She's going to kill us thinks the family as she waves a raw chicken leg menacingly near a small child. I'm thinking does she really have a pile of what looks like cat vomit on her kitchen sink or is that another simulation from the graphics department. I'm told I need to spray every surface because they are full of harmful bacteria that will cause my children to break out in scabs that look like something only the graphics department could design. My house apparently has odours so I need to disguise it...with more odours and when I've sprayed the bins, couches, cat, dog and ideally the husband we can all relax given the odd fit of emphysema but at least the bench will sparkle. I'm not an obsessive compulsive kind of cleaner but I do get distracted with it. A bit like in the middle of stuffing the roast chicken when you drop the sprig of thyme on the floor and all of the little leaves fall off so you bend down and pick up the sprig. Then you need to get out the dust pan and broom and sweep up the leaves but there is a stain there from the raw chicken so you need to wipe that off with a paper towel (because the sponge is a weapon of mass destruction remember) and now there is a clean spot on the floor amongst the grime that means you really need to go and get the mop out and give the floor a good going over and by now it's 9 o'clock and too late to put the chicken on anyway. So this week I will put my chicken on and ignore what's on the floor...before I run out of thyme!!!

5 comments:

  1. That one where the woman wrinkles her nose at the smells from the bin? I just want to smack her. if she washed the bin with hot soapy water and dried it, then it wouldn't stink. Her son drops his smelly footy socks in the hallway? Teach him to take them to the laundry you silly woman!
    Dish sponges which are properly rinsed in hot water and dried do not grow that many germs.

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  2. Oh dear! Have they gotten to you too? I like the anti-bacterial mouthwash ads. You can kill 6 zillion bacteria in 30 seconds by making BAM Mouthwash part of your daily routine. What they don't say is that one hour later you have 6 zillion pissed off bacteria sprog back in your mouth.

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  3. And the great thing with mouthwash is that it doubles as toilet cleaner too!!

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  4. Hygiene is popular among the mentally ill.

    You're pretty funny.

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  5. Yeah the families in 'Ad Land' always seem pig messy, don't they? Paula whats-her-face from the Spray-and-Wipe commercials spring to mind.

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