'Ideal Gift for Mum' the advertisement reads with this woman standing proudly behind her new portable, flat folding Handy Line. We're told that it's the original and the best. Perhaps it is but if I was your mother and you gave me a portable clothes line for Mothers Day I would tell you where to jam it because your mother is not your maid, your domestic servant or even slightly concerned about your drying underpants. She deserves better on Mothers Day. By all means buy yourself a clothes line, buy two if you like, but if I had bought this for my mother you would have found me impaled on it in the backyard on the second Sunday in May.