Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Garden of Evil
Weekends are the time when I look at the garden. Firstly let me qualify the word garden here, when I say garden I'm referring to 4 terracotta pots on a balcony. Whilst having a soft spot for all things of a horticultural nature, I loathe and detest the act of gardening. And they, the plants know it. If my plants could hurl themselves off the balcony they would. Many a time they've attempted suicide only to have been snatched at the last minute from the jaws of the garden refuse bin to live another day. I don't understand why people go on about gardening. You buy plants, they die and then you buy new ones. Where is the attraction in this? Whilst I still manage to maintain my under performing plants I thought I would share some of my own special garden tips with you.
Best not to use Baygon to kill off the thing that's eating your plants;
Don't give them too much water, they'll only get used to it;
And, if you do go away overseas while it's 40 degrees here, don't be surprised to come home and wonder why they look like you've put them in the microwave.
Needless to say Jamie Dury won't be popping by soon for some advice besides, he'd just get their hopes up.