Welcome to the house of fun

I have a real estate agent coming through my apartment tomorrow to show prospective buyers the property. I can't pretend to be slightly interested as I'm not the owner just the occupier. Knowing that strangers will be walking amongst ones belongings one does one's best to present the premises in a good light and remove any personal objects of value from view such as camera's, jewellery, wads of cash, semi-automatic weapons so on and so forth. But when it comes to housework quite frankly I don't care if they think an undiscovered tribe live in my bedroom because I would prefer not to have to move. Perhaps I should open the door offering my sincerest apologies but the doctor insisted I be quarantined once I was diagnosed with swine flu. Or perhaps I'll not be home and just leave a diary page open to display a scheduled exorcism at my home address next Thursday. The Pest Control report on the fridge might discuss unexplained larger than normal teeth marks around the skirting boards and perhaps an invite to next door's Death Metal Puke Party would assist. I don't think I'll pack just yet.