Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What is that in your closet?

When you are in the process of job seeking, first impressions are everything. You need to demonstrate the ability to be positive (even though after the latest restructure you now report to the work experience kid), be flexible (ie., bend over backwards on a regular basis) and most importantly you need to present yourself in the best possible light (preferably fluorescent so as not to show the veins straining in your neck as you outline the details of an entirely fictitious resume that includes everything from a recently acquired MBA ie., Masters in Botox and Ageing to first job as an astronaut. When driving home last night my mobile phone rings and I know it's the pimp from the agency. I reach into the black leather abyss only to cut the call, nearly rear end the ute in front and scream "fuck" very loudly only to realise, she was still on the phone. Oops. Yes first impressions are everything and starting your candidate/consultant relationship with fuck is not the recommended approach. Whilst during the interview one should present oneself as friendly, liking all things business related and not slightly pissed off at all. Speak of achievements and KPI's, fondness for fitness, cooking and reading. No need to mention the dislike of small dogs, children and anything remotely linked to the AFL. Best they find this out after probation. And salary expectations? Back up the truck and throw in a few wire coat hangers for old times sake.

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