Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Grand Scone Maker

So tell me why a group of men in aprons who have over done the jewellery have reason to be called a secret society? Freemasonry, being not the reverse of incarcerating those working with stone has come into the media pages today to dispel myth, so they say in today's Age. "We've carried as if we've had something to hide ... We are not a secret society, but we are a society with secrets." Sounds very desperate housewives to me but hey don't let me throw pooh on the grand, you know what, bah. According to the Grand Master who claims "non-Freemasons are being allowed to attend "parts of our ceremonies", there are other aspects of Freemason creed which make recruitment difficult. Women are banned from membership. They are still allowed to serve the "supper" at some of the Lodge meetings, but full membership? No. This club is strictly for men. Further, to be admitted you have to believe in God, or at least a "supreme being".

Gee, where do I sign up, although I think you've lost everyone on the supreme being thing because you know we are all thinking you believe in martians right now and that's a bit weird on top of your already weird stuff isn't it? Given that the average demographic of this group probably sits somewhere between 70 and death what they need is a complete makeover. Throw away those dusty old skulls and fake wine goblets and bring in a few vases of flowers, a call centre and a facebook page if you need mates. Or if you want to stick to the old ways and keep wearing the pinny, why not have some male ceremonial scone making? Just watch those funny handshakes, they may get a little floury.


  1. Such an odd thing. My dad was a mason for many years and I regret letting my brother have his little suitcase full of pinnies and white gloves and god knows what! I think it's rather quaint, a bunch of septegenarians wearing their little uniforms and doing'boys' stuff. Let's face it, they're too old for cubs!

  2. I think if women were to make up a club somehow I don't think it would involve aprons.

  3. The picture reminds me of a greeting card I remember seeing a few years ago: "That's right Harold, do the salad. You're the only tosser in this house!"