Wednesday, December 2, 2009
L plates should be for Loser
Forget emissions trading schemes, we need to rid the planet of bad drivers. They are more harmful than carrying around a plastic bag full of spent nuclear fuel rods (A PLASTIC BAG..AAHHH!!). Nothing converts cool environmentally friendly drivers into steaming hot air carbon emitting road ragers than the great motoring moron. Very soon car manufacturers as a new optional extra will be providing driver warning systems of bad driver alert at the rear. As they slam the gears into "D" for dickhead they come screaming up behind you. They sit wedged somewhere in between both front seats with one hand resting on the top of the wheel whilst somehow managing to be driving forwards but looking everywhere else at the same time. To them indicating has become extinct and knowing no more about what to do at a roundabout than knowing about the virtues of crop rotation. They come in fashionable coloured utes, four wheel drives (think school run?) and can infect any motorist watching Top Gear and believing IT'S NOT STAGED. It's a car. It gets you to the shops and back. No part of your anatomy will grow bigger if you get a noisier engine. And you know what? Girls do not give a shit about your car particularly if you spend more money and attention on it.