Glue like symptoms

We managed to get through the winter free from the various barnyard viruses only to succumb to the worst virus of all. Craft flu. It spreads to pandemic proportions from November onwards and the season doesn't wind up until well into January. Craft flu seems to affect mostly the female population and syptoms include making own christmas decorations, trawling through store after store looking for the perfect table runner and the tell tale signs of glitter and ribbon pieces in the strangest of places. Looking through this month's magazines would have us think that our families were being neglected if the table isn't decorated with at least 45 different styles of crockery, enough glassware to be drinking at least 7 different beverages at once, matching pressed linen napkins dressed with more jewellery than Dubai airport and the all important stuffed small bird to sit on the arm of each chair. What drugs are these people on? And who has the time for this stuff? Women are most likely the workhorses when it comes to Christmas. Men have cleverly promoted themselves as useless in all aspects of tinsel and have successfully retreated to the back shed. Now that we women are told we can have it all, do we interpret this as becoming a State Premier and having an affair with Tiger Woods whilst whipping up a passionfruit, lychee and coconut buche de Noel? So unless some pharmaceutical company can come up with a nasal spray that substitutes the effects of PVC craft glue we should all be on heightened alert. If you suspect a friend or family member has fallen, do not attempt to pick up the pinking shears without latex glove protection or the virus could spread and before you know it you are sitting on a chair in the waiting room at Spotlight waiting to be called. Next.