Monday, December 7, 2009

Road Rules and Wrinkles

You can tell you are getting old by the amount of time you dedicate to the Royal Auto magazine. There was a time when for me, it never got out of the plastic covering. Then it started as a quick flick and then into the recycle bin because caravans and camping are for other people's grandparents. Road rules are for people who wear cardigans and Great Ocean Road drives are something you did feeling very hungover coming back from the Apollo Bay festival. But before you know it times have changed and you linger a little longer on the membership discounts page and then suddenly one day you are making those "tsk tsk" noises out loud reading about people parking in disabled parking bays. AAAHHH!! I've become one of them. I swear I have no interest in self contained holiday villas or anything called a Motor Inn that can only bring up images of a blinkering neon vacancy sign and the shower scene from Psycho. Caravaning trips are for people who have no homes or have a fondness for shared shower facilities and foot fungi, and camping should have been left to those who hadn't evolved past grunting and making their own tools (which actually describes a lot of people who appear in home improvement programs). So in a conscious effort to force back the effects of ageing, I will slip the motoring mag into the bin with the yellow lid and regain my youthfulness by resisting to be caught up in a world of child restraint seats and roadside assistance. Put the kid in the glove box and catch the bus.


  1. I had to slap myself into sense a couple of years ago when I opened it and thought, "Oh, there's a couple of interesting articles."

    Then when I thought, "Yeah, I could enter that competition online for a free set of tyres" I made myself put the magazine down and promptly got drunk....

  2. Unsubscribe from the magazine and save yourself....

  3. Why must we get old and wrinkly, oh no, I am going to look like a BBQ'd crinkle cut - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Can we please have euthanasia.