Wednesday, January 13, 2010

It's all just hot air

Why do men get so excited about cars? I know as much about the maintenance of my car as the average man knows about eyelash curlers. And what's more, I resent that I'm expected to. Today it was pointed out to me that my tyres were near flat and they needed attending to. Sensing a major lack of interest and knowledge on my part my automotive adviser went on to describe compression, loosening and tightening of valves and I'm sure much more but my mind wandered off into a blank abyss (without might I add offering to fix them). I have no interest in cars, ever. I purchase cars like I buy nail polish, "Gee I like the colour, I'll take it, thanks bye now". The car could have nothing under the bonnet for all I care so long as it goes. So now I have to resort to "getting in a man" to do something about the car and no doubt he'll want to show me how to help myself to fix my car problem. This is the problem. The day we let petrol stations do away with attendants was the day it all went wrong. And as we know the man behind the counter in the service station whilst probably studying a double degree in science and law is only able to offer me a chocolate bar and take my money. We've been conned into believing that self service is good for us. The much offered 'Do it yourself' and 'self installs' are a nothing more than the opportunity to remove jobs for people along with their salaries. The guy behind the servo counter could probably hook up his laptop to your car and re tune the engine to last you another 50 years but in the name of profits he needs to stay behind the counter with his feet nailed to the floor and be paid no more than the cost of a carton of cigarettes.
So whenever I'm offered the opportunity to do it myself the answer is no. That's not my job and you should thank me that I'm thinking about trying to save yours. And no I don't want a buy two chump bars and get fat free deal.


  1. Hmm just parted with $700 for brakes, I could do with a bit of mechanical knowledge or a'little man' with mechanical nouse.

  2. Er yes, having just had our car fixed - via three different mechanics - for contaminated petrol, I'll admit to starting to wonder if I should start thinking about what happens under the hood besides brm brm noises.

    Like computers, I know zilch about how they work, but like Rainman I can correctly tell a model of a car quicker than any bloke. It's an odd quirk and one that surprises car lovin' fellas every time: "No Reg, that's actually the new Mazda Neo, a bit between the 3 but bigger than the old 121 and has a 2 litre engine." Very puzzling!