It's going to be a hot one on Monday. Predictably the news headlines will read "41 degrees Scorcher" or "Melbourne Swelters" alongside the standard crowded beach photograph with a token toddler wading in the water dressed in swimming attire and blockout so bright you could see them from space. One thing I don't want to see in tomorrow's news is anything to do with an elephant giving birth. IT'S NOT NEWS! Sometimes it seems that the world of nature cannot exist without us. We are yet to understand why whales beach themselves but we keep insisting on trying to undo whatever it is that they are wanting to achieve. If only we could understand whale speak it would be something like "bugger off you useless two legged morons and let me die in peace". It's a bit like strangers turning up in an intensive care unit and poking at the people on the critical list and piling blankets on them to keep them warm. Very annoying I would think. And still not news.