Sunday, November 8, 2009

The summer model

Two glorious days of mid thirty degrees and summer feels like it has arrived. The warm air is blowing through the streets and there isn't a cloud in the sky. It's great to feel the heat from the sun but by 4pm I'm over it and ready to turn on the air con. Too lazy to go to the beach and a list too long as why it wouldn't be worth it, I settle for a repeat showing of Jaws to remind me of what summer used to be. Coming from stock that gets burned under an electric light bulb a day in the sun is something that would require major preparation to the point that by the time I was ready to go out summer would be over. Women can't just chuck on the shorts and head out.

Women are just made differently. I was considering this the other night watching an old episode of Parkinson when he asked his female guests Sharon Osborne, Joan Rivers and some young person that I probably should know but don't, if they had a choice would they wish to have been born male of female. They all replied female and quoted all the usual girly responses, shoes, babies etc. Personally, if I had been asked I would chose male. I think that when the female body came off the production line they got it wrong. If we are to believe the scriptures that male came first and then the design team created female, that's when they stuffed it up. Just like car manufacturers when they try to improve on the original model they end up sacrificing the basics. So instead of the good old reliable, can do one thing at a time, all the accessories on display, they then tried to refine it. They put in airbags and added intricate workings that quite frankly work for a while and then fall apart. The new model whilst more sleek in design and according to the brochure is capable of multi functions at the one time, looses its gloss after a while and is prone to leaking. Should have stuck with the original I say. But alas, without a complete overhaul including spray paint and alignment I will not be going to the beach this summer as the paintwork will fade in the sun and I'm not going to mention the spare wheel.


  1. Speaking of spare wheels......mine is beginning to resemble one of those big double wheels that you see on road trains.(I blame all those chocolate and cake blogs) On the upside, going out in the sun for me means nothing more than a handful of sunscreen on the face. It's the only part of me that burns.

  2. 'prone to leaking' - beautifully put!

    I've often mused to Love Chunks that fellas have it easier on the physical side. Clothes are functional, hair removal is optional, bodily excretions are actively celebrated and long board shorts and rashie vests are de-rigeur at the beach.

    ...which is why, at 41, I wear 'em too. It means that I only have to slather my face and feet with the dreaded 30+