Monday, November 9, 2009

I'm a size 10 and enjoy late night margin calls

As I pick up my newspaper today a small flyer from a bank slides out all bright and cheerful. I pick it up and am drawn in by its bold design. "We're bringing back over 600 bank managers" it reads. Brilliant. I wonder where they been keeping them. I open up my flyer to learn about 7 of the 600 each with name, a few interesting comments about themselves and their individual mobile telephone numbers. I learn that one is a huge cricket fan and is "following up" and another is a fun-runner and does whatever it takes. I'm not sure if I should ask these people for a loan or out on a date. They all tell us where they can be found and that they are my local Bank Manager even if they all are located in the CBD. My favourite would be Erika Perkins, she says "I'm a dog with a bone". I believe the term is 'like a dog with a bone' unless of course Erika is a German Shepherd then by all means enjoy your bone. She says she is helping you into your first place. First place? When you are born? Is this woman wrenching babies from their mothers to take them into the living room? And then there is Delia Taylor who is a mum of two and is keeping an open door. Some people keep gold fish but a door is perfectly fine if that's what you enjoy. All in all it would be difficult to sum yourself up for a bank flyer in no more than two bullet points. I can think of two right now, but I don't think the bank would print those.


  1. It is hard not to be cynical most of the time.

    I'd like an honest bank manager flyer though...

    "Hi. I'm you Bank Manager, Steve. I enjoy golf, strangling small animals and masturbation. Actually, I'm not that much into golf anymore."

  2. Oh, the wonderful world of advertising. We believe everything they tell us, right?

  3. Love what Man at the Pub said! (and what you wrote too of course, Ms Lilo)>

    I haven't read the flyers, but the ads were shoved in between Bear Grylls drinking the fluid from elephant dung, eating live scorpions and raw zebra meat to survive and somehow didn't quite 'grab' me.

  4. Man at the Pub, you are so on the money.