Friday, November 13, 2009
The Friday Garment Special
The last day of the working week and nothing to wear. As I point my divining rod into my wardrobe there is not a drop of summer workwear to speak of. Stuffing back in the coats of wool and dead animals as they leap out of the open door, I start to reach into the dark depths of wardrobe backwaters. Sectioned off at the rear of the cupboard is no mans land resume of retrenched ball gowns and fancy dress outfits (at least that's how I will explain it for now). This would be where one finds such things as old bridesmaids dresses of violet taffeta with mutton sleeves that are as attractive as they sound, the short leather black mini skirt that did well for the 80's and still bears the marks of beer and bands from the venue that has long gone and of course those never worn but often tried on white pants that were so transparent your old faded undies might as well be worn on the outside. As time ticks on the sense of urgency begins to take its toll. Furiously there is pulling out of the cupboard, off from the hanger, thrown on the bed and reaching in for another. It's getting desperate when you are sizing up the dry cleaning bag with the zip up front and wondering if your head will fit in the hole. It's navy? Where was that bloody Maria Von Trapp woman to pull down the curtains and make me some clothes when I needed her? Ah well, at least it's the end of the week and with a bit of luck no one will ask why my dress says 'same day service'.