Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Is that a microfibre you're wearing?

And to think, all I had to do to win a Teen Choice Award was to polish a pole with my undies, while I'm still wearing them and bingo, I've been awarded the prize for 'extraordinary contribution to the entertainment industry'. No shit Sherlock! Take your undies off and put them on your head and you might win most popular or as they put it the Teen 'Hottie' category. Why bother with talent when the real winners are commemorated with classifications such as 'Liplock' and 'Celebrity Pet', and my all time favourite 'a Choice award for whoever does the best job in 140 characters or less on Twitter'. I'm not even going to ask what they mean by 'job'. So when Smiley Virus or whatever her name is gets put on the front page of the newspaper as having some recognised talent, please specify if it's just a buff or a cut and polish. I've got some marble floors she can run her arse over when she gets bored.


  1. I dunno if I could polish a pole with my undies I'd want a prize!(Whilst wearing them of course . . I tend to use old underwear as dusters ergo no real tallent in polishing poles . . unless the're from Poland)

  2. I give her two years before a sex tape is 'accidentally' released and a further six months before she's in a 'hospital, resting from exhaustion'.

  3. Kath you are so right, polishing furniture is exhausting.