Saturday, August 1, 2009

At the going down of the sun

No good will come of attempting your own tax return. You start out on your adventure to foreign screens all knowingly downloading your e-tools and reading through the instructions until you realise night has fallen and you've grown a beard (somewhere anyway). You're trapped, you've clicked NEXT too often so you can't go back, the program won't let you proceed without reading the taxation act which downloads at every turn. You start to sweat and you feel your heart racing. No I won't let this get to me, you keep clicking NEXT hoping to move forward but the loud BOING goes off again and you feel it right between the eyes. You stand, pace the room and try to breathe, you look across at the trench you've built of waxy receipts and mouldy invoices. You go back in. There's only thing left to do. Your blood shot eyes scan the screen. You exit. You're defeated. You pick up the phone and call the guy with the brown cardigan and make an appointment. You delete the e-tax icon from your desktop and try not to relive the trauma. Next, next, next, you still get the flashbacks and it's too hard to talk about it. You start to recognise other e-tax veterans, they're looking worn and they're a bit jumpy, they often gather around the local H&R Block having a smoke and talking about raw memories of that fateful moment of the battle of the depreciation question. As the new dawn of the next financial year brightens let's all hope that the lessons learned bring peace in our time and prosperity to all the certified accountants in the land.


  1. Ah, stop yer whingeing. Become a 'freelancer' and you'll earn so little that you won't *have* to lodge one!

  2. I have scars, and this terrible rash that won't go away.

    I hire mercenaries now.