Wednesday, September 2, 2009
B-pay from heaven
Today I stayed home and spent much restful time in front of my television and I have learned many things. I didn't realise that I needed insurance to cover my bills when I died. So now I can pay Telstra from the grave, what joy. I also purchased some exercise equipment that will give me a suntan and reduce my body fat to about 4% just by using a fast twisting action that will probably rupture at least 3 discs in my lower back but boy what a tan I'll have. And after 3 easy payments plus postage and handling costs equivalent to transporting a Monet, I can use my new battery operated rotating sweeper to clean up those pesky crushed light bulb accidents that happen everyday. Not to mention I can cook delicious healthy meals by putting them in a turbo steamer and kappow, out comes a roast beef and vegetables, a serving of pasta and an iced sponge cake as well. I'm going back to work or I may just go for a hike and wait for a spy plane to come and get me.